Journey With Landon – May 11, 2013
It has been a few weeks since my last in-depth update on Landon. In my last update, we basically announced to the world that Landon has become the youngest cancer patient in the US to begin using CBD oil to help treat his cancer. What a journey this has been.
We have been through pain we never thought bearable, yet we have endured. We have watched Landon go through things that no one should ever have to watch another human being go through, yet he has survived. Landon truly is a hero in so many ways. Through this journey I have truly learned by watching him what real strength is. I have watched him fight through things that I could not live through. Some days I truly wonder if he is living or surviving. Or maybe it is a combination of both. Maybe in his innocence, he is protected from understanding the cruelty of cancer. So many questions but rarely any answers.
We have witnessed the miracle of The Realm of Caring and their tireless work on the behalf of sick children. Most days they work until they can no longer stand, grab a few hours of sleep and get back at it. They operate on a very little budget, yet the results for cancer patients and epileptic patients yields a great return. We have seen Landon go from taking narcotic pain and anxiety drugs to zero narcotics due to his taking the CBD and THC oils. We witnessed him waking from a dead sleep with night terrors so bad that he was fighting, kicking, screaming with his eyes filled with terror to being at peace with no anxiety, no night terrors, and sleeping peacefully through the night. We have truly witnessed so many miracles along the way in this journey called cancer.
Unfortunately, due to the severity of Landon’s leukemia and the fact that he is a high risk patient, we had no choice but to continue with the chemo in conjunction with the cannabis. The research is not advanced enough yet to tell us the amount of CBD that he would need to ingest to kill the leukemia cells at a faster rate than his body can produce them. We need research and we need it badly. However, with the government trying to block the research at every turn, it has been a struggle to get the funds to do the research. This is why we agreed to do the CNN special on cannabis. There is a shortage of the CBD that Landon takes. There is much work to do to build public awareness so that medical growers can grow enough CBD to meet the need. In ten years, this will be a widely used method to treat cancer; however, Landon, and so many others like him, does not have the time to wait for ten years.
Landon has had a very rough two weeks. One of the things that cannabis does not help Landon with is the nausea and vomiting. It seems that in order to get the medical relief of these symptoms, you have to actually smoke the plant, and even though you cannot get ‘high’ from CBD no matter what means it enters the body, there is not enough research to tell us the effects on a child’s growing and developing brain of smoking this. Therefore the last two weeks have been hell for Landon.
The oil kills the leukemia cells, it repairs the body, and it protects the body from the damage of the chemo, along with so many other benefits that I described above. However, the vomiting has escalated in the last two weeks once again. Landon has lost two pounds, not because he is not eating, but he vomits everything he does eat.
Last night the vomiting started and continued through the night and all day today at intervals of about every 20 – 30 minutes. He is very pale with a yellow tinge, he is reporting that he hurts all over (this is from the dehydration), has a headache, and of course is very weak. This afternoon Sierra called his doctors in SLC and it was time to take him to the hospital for evaluation for dehydration and low platelet count. The really bad thing is that in order to do all of this they had to access his port. Because his port was previously accessed for so many weeks, the skin around the port was damaged to the point of almost bleeding and it is still very sore and irritated. When they do the access, this does not hurt as we put on a numbing cream. What hurts like hell is the alcohol that they have to clean the entire site with. It burns so bad due to the irritation that he screams in pain and fights the process.
They assessed him at the hospital and as he is a cancer patient, they do not want him exposed to other sick people. The doctor ordered everything to be done at home by a home health nurse. She arrived and I had to hold him down so that Sierra and the nurse could do the access of his port. Of course he was in so much pain from the alcohol burning his skin that I had to hold him really tight which means I bruised him. When we were done he ran into the living room, sat on the floor and continued to cry. When I tried to approach him, he cowered and put his hands up to protect himself because he does not want me to hurt him anymore. I’m still crying, I’m still devastated, and the look of fear in his eyes will stay with me for the rest of my life. This is cancer. I have instilled in my 3 year old grandson to be afraid of me. All he knows is that I am a part of what hurts him. All he knows is that I do not protect him from the ‘bad’ guys. All I know is that something inside of me died tonight as I faced the reality of the look of terror in his eyes. This is cancer.
The delivery finally arrived from home health care and Sierra was able to start him on the IV fluids and give him the phenergan. The nurse drew his blood for the CBC which will tell us if his platelets are low enough for a transfusion. We will find out the results in the morning. Immediately upon getting the phenergan, he finally fell asleep and has been asleep for several hours now with no vomiting. He is exhausted from no sleep and needs this rest desperately. Sierra is beyond exhausted as well and I have no clue how she even functions.
It is almost 3am here and I cannot sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see Landon’s eyes filled with terror as I try to approach him. Tomorrow will bring a new day, a new reality, and hopefully a better day for Landon. Tomorrow will not erase the realities of today and what I had to put him through to try and help him. This is cancer.